First, they have to actually be cleverer than everyone else. But for it to work, two things have to be nailed. I’m loving what Jonny Lee Miller is doing with Holmes. Give me a Gregory House or Patrick Jane any day. I say this as someone who genuinely enjoys well-crafted misanthropic leads. As you jet around the world condemning everyone you meet on first glance, Moebius exists in a universe of the uniquely ghastly. Women generously comply, by being portrayed as either astonishingly spiteful and vain (a favourite descriptive word of the game) or feeble and useless. Men, in this game, are controlling, emotionless bastards, who find women stupid and contemptible. Moebius appears to hold contempt for both men and women, which it exhibits in alternating sequences of patronising sexism. And indeed so begins the most garish, clumsy attempt at a will-they-won’t-they between the two male leads, that reads like the most prudish slash fiction ever written. The two click, and Rector recognises that Walker would be a good bodyguard to accompany him in the dangerous world of antiques appraisal.Īnd so begin their adventures, as they attempt to identify a woman who might be a bit like some other woman from history, for a reason so stupid that upon its reveal my brain crawled out of my head, into a corner, and shot itself. While in Egypt, taking a look at a potentially ancient relic for a client, Malachi bumps into David Walker, an American ex-Special Forces chap with the personality of a thinly sketched game character that no one really bothered developing. No! Don’t be silly! It’s not true that absolutely everyone on Earth can see if cherry-picked elements of a person’s life are vaguely similar to someone else from off of history! ONLY MALACHI.
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Rector has a special talent for being able to recognise the traits of a person, and when prompted by a mysterious secret government organisation (with a prominent logo in the entrance of their grand offices), finds he can compare people to his cranial archive of historic figures.
This is a man – and I promise this is true – whose psychology is based on his mother’s being eaten by a lion in front of him when he was a child. You mostly play as the ludicrously named Malachi Rector (I couldn’t tell if the homonym of “Mr Rector”/”Misdirector” was deliberate, but considering everything else in the plot this would seem an optimistic reach), a New York-based British antiques expert with a purported IQ of 170, a photographic memory, and the personality of a spoilt turd.
Cunning.īut here’s what I can safely tell.
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I’ll say one thing for the storytelling in Moebius – it’s cleverly structured such that the full extent of how brain-punchingly stupid it is comes too far in, such that it has to be considered a spoiler. What begins as a distracting, almost charmingly old-school point and click adventure quickly dives into a humourless farce, before finding its groove as the most pedantic, tiresome and misanthropic slog in a good long year. You find me in that latter mode, now the achingly long, tedious adventure is finally over. I went from mildly interested, to laughing at how stupid it is, to hating it with a fiery passion. Moebius wasn’t so much an emotional rollercoaster as an emotional fall down a hole. Is it any good? Spoiler: No, it's astonishingly terrible. A brand new adventure game featuring a genius antiques dealer and a worldwide, history-spanning mystery. The first project to emerge from this, in collaboration with Phoenix Online, is Moebius: Empire Rising. One of the higher profile Kickstarters in the Great Wave of 2012 was Gabriel Knight creator Jane Jensen's half-million pot for her new Pinkerton Road Studio.
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